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Things I Thought I'd Have Mastered By Now: One in an Occasional Series

Y'all, my 45th birthday is coming up! And while I loooove birthdays, this one is a little weird.

I am definitely an adult, even though I vacillate wildly between feeling like an adolescent freak and a geriatric homebody.I am pretty squarely in midlife - definitely not young anymore, but only really old in the eyes of children and college students.  As I reflect, I realize that there are two big groups of things that are surprising to me, and they fall fairly neatly into one of two categories; things I never thought I'd do/have done/be able to do at 45, and those things that I was prettttty sure I was going to master by 45 but that are still eluding me.
So, in the spirit of wildly boring public navel-gazing, I'm going to write about both of those categories. At worst, you can click over to reddit or the 'gram for more interesting/picturesque content. At best, maybe I'll be so pathetic that you feel way better about yourselves! (You're welcome.)
(And if you're…

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