rahree interrupted

So I've taken a month away from blogging.

[well, close to a month.]

It was a good decision, I think. It's hard for me to write well about struggling...I'm more of a Paula than a Simon, I'm afraid. And this spring was honestly one of the most sucktacular times of my life. I've been in bad relationships, stressful work and personal relationships, but they all pale in comparison to the struggles following my dad's death. I'd be lying if I said that I had worked through it all...BIG lie. That compounded with the awful weather and the daily irritations of living were huge mountains to climb. But as it grows warmer and sunnier I'm more hopeful; more accurately, more willing to step into the void without a promise of happily ever after. I'm feeling a little braver, and more willing to remember the man than wallow in my loss.

Most days, at least. I'm not perfect.

In the intervening almost-month, good things have started to happen again. Old friends are arriving daily and making beautiful music, and new friends are dropping by to say hello and share stories. We have some most-excellent events happening this summer, and I am so psyched to see so many cool projects come to fruition!

So I'm hoping that I can post this without being jinxed...

Things I'm loving (In no particular order)

1. The great state of Virginny, for handing driver's licenses out to pretty girls. (RC!)
2. The fact that LMB is both in town AND available for all sorts of outings. Margaritas, Senorita?
3. That there are 2 different signs in ASL for poo and shit...thanks, Ben Folds!
4. Purging possessions and lightening up.
5. The start of the summer music season!!!
6. KM, BG and the big voices of Giorno...awesome....
7. EM & JW being back in town... they're like two fabulous, irreverent brothers.
8. More daylight!
9. Sunshine and greenery....

and....drum roll please...

10. moving day!

It seems that Pollyanna is back! Let's hope the universe lets her stick around for a while...


taking the hint

So, every time I blog in a positive manner, I get totally bitch-slapped by the universe. Rather than whine about it I'm hopping back on the 30 day project bandwagon... I'm going to put the blog to bed for a month to see if my luck changes.

See you in June.

Pete at the pearly gates

"You know why he's smiling? Because in heaven? They have two-ply."

My brother and I tried, fairly unsuccessfully, to bottle the giggles rising like the most inappropriate bottle of champagne. The backstory was well-known to both of us: after a lifetime of living in old homes with older septic systems, the only toilet paper permitted to cross the Pokego threshold was standard, one-ply, use half-a-roll at a sitting Scott tissue. The local plumbers were not just on speed dial, but also had nicknames; the Bobbsey Boys were called to the latest house several times yearly. In my adult life I was known to splurge on the made-of-spun-silk, quadruple-ply, soft-as-an-angel's-tushie toilet paper on a fairly regular basis, as an obvious backlash to the years of scratchy Scott t.p.

But this gigglefit didn't take place at the Pokego house, or my house or Mike's house. We were at a viewing. My first viewing, actually. My father's viewing, to be specific. And, as Mike and I looked at his face, spackled liberally in stage makeup, we couldn't figure out why he was smiling. It was just a little smile... as if he was amused with the whole thing.

I like to think that, while he didn't want to leave us, that he was happy. Happy with the things he had accomplished in his life, in love with his wife, proud of his kids. And that maybe, as his life flashed before his eyes, he really knew how loved he was, in return. And, to be honest, he probably was pretty amused at how the funeral director tarted him up for the viewing...he knew that mom would whip a better lipstick color out of her purse, and apply it unapologetically in full view. (You looked pretty good in the shimmery pink, Dad!)

I also like to think that, as our Pete met the other St. Pete at the pearly gates, he was bid welcome and handed a big roll of Charmin.

Happy Monday!

(No, I am not being facetious.)

Boo and I did the 5 mile loop in the park today. It's a beautiful day, sunny, low-humidity, low bug-to-air ratio... in other words, a perfect walking day! We ran across several people, including two smokers. I associate the park with health, with introspection, sometimes with camaraderie, and cell-phone users and smokers totally mess with my perspective! One of the smokers was the last in a group of 5 or 6 people who were looking for mushrooms. He was strolling, spoke with a French accent (and once I heard the accent the smoking in the park totally made sense), and asked if Boo could sniff out mushrooms. To which I replied "nope. He has no marketable skills." Look at me making a whole sentence before 9am!

Yep, it's going to be a good day!

On the docket for today?
  • scrub and reseal the shower
  • mani-pedi
  • groceries
  • doodling on the patio with pup
  • weight class at the gym
I think that's enough to start. Have a great day, y'all!



Mayday... the distress call comes from the French M'aidez, meaning "help me!"

Thinking of my brother today. He's not cried mayday, at least not out loud to me. He's a strong dude.

Four years ago today we were all celebrating...(yours truly in light-blue taffeta). Mo, I promise that while nothing will ever be the same, it will get better than it is today.

Things will be good again - hang in there.