9.21.09 progress

Well, today's plans have gone awry.

The plan was: get up. Coffee. Walk dog. Shower. Oil change. Throw some clothes into a bag. Throw some dog food into another. Set out a few days worth of chow for kitty-witty, coax the dog into the car, and hit the road by 10am to make it to Mom's house in the afternoon. (Leaving time for pit stops and big fountain sodas, of course.)

Well, after two middle-of-the-night pit stops with El Diablo, the prospect of spending several hours in a car with a stinky, unreliable dog was not so attractive. Ew. So we postponed the trip for a day, and yours truly wondered what to do with the "extra" 24 hours. Thinking that a trip to the gym should be on that list, I scrambled to get to class before the 10:30am start. It was a kettlebell class (whee! fun!), but it wasn't until I walked in that I realized who the instructor was.

It's that one. Oh, God....

It's the spunky, athletic girl who talked me into taking a boot camp class the second time I set foot in the gym. The class that I gave all I could for, oh, twenty minutes before coming dangerously close to hurling. The class that left my face an uncomfortable shade of purple for several hours. The class that affirmed my belief that I was always going to be out of shape and chubby.

Oh. No.

But I was already there, and only one of 3 folks taking the class. I decided to suck it up and take as much of the class as I could.

...

I made it. I FINISHED THE CLASS!
Not only that, but I finished with style, my friends. I actually did most of the class with the heavier kettlebells. Per the instructor's suggestion.

I didn't hurl, not even once!

And I'm feeling like a SUPERSTAR!

(...a superstar who can't lift her arms above her head, but a superstar nonetheless. )

Most of the time I feel like I'm just putting one foot in front of the other...now that I don't measure time or self by my next audition or performance or graduation or new job or new boyfriend, the opportunities to re-evaluate seem to be much fewer and farther between. I just chug along, content with what I have, what I do, who I am. So it felt seriously good to have evidence that my chugging is actually towards something...getting stronger and incrementally healthier.

It also makes me wonder what I should be chugging towards...what I could be chugging towards. I've been re-reading this intermittently over the last few months, and it's one of those pieces that always rings true, regardless of what I'm doing or where I am when I'm reading. And one of the points that I'm most in love with is that progress is slow and incremental and takes lots of work.

Work. I know. Duh, Rahree.

But it's something that I need to be reminded of, quite frequently. Especially as instant gratification becomes mind-blowingly more instant. The idea of doing a little bit daily, of pushing just a little on a consistent basis is much more appealing than waiting for that "big idea" or being so paralyzed as to not be able to do, well, anything.

So on my list for this found day is to brainstorm some small ideas. To try on some theoretical new hats, to examine the things I love to do and the person I'd like to be. They may just turn into doodles on the backs of business cards and, well, that's been done. But it'll be fun to start thinking.

My five:
  1. Feeling powerful.
  2. Snuggly pets.
  3. Frozen brownies that are still miraculously soft. How?
  4. Possibility.
  5. Progress.

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