fragmented

i know i'm not alone in feeling pulled in seventy-twelve directions. but i'd like to whine about it for just a while. granted, i have a fairly easy life...no kids,  one job, a helpful hubby. But hot damn, am i feeling scattered! case in point: i have no fewer than 3 to-do lists, including an online version by these guys. i write here; i write on facebook. i write on twitter. i write here. i started writing here, although it's a my-eyes-only kind of writing.

And, obviously, I don't have much to say. parcel it out over so many interfaces, and it adds up to even less. so, why am I trying to be everywhere? There's the 2 million dollar question.

This question is timely: things are starting to heat up at work. I have more contracts coming and going than I know what to do with. My job demands a better understanding of technology and intellectual property, but law school on even the smallest scale is but a pipe dream. I'm either spending half my day getting organized or diving in and then paying for the lack of a thruline. It's like my head is a huge game of pinball, and it's screaming TILT all the time. It's not that I don't think I can do it: I'm confident in my abilities, and know that this stuff is totally in my skill set. I do worry that I'll forget something, though, and that's where the need to organize comes in...because each of those items on the to-do list are connected to people who deserve my undivided attention, my best effort.  Forgetting paper? Permissible, at times. Forgetting people? Never ok.

Undivided attention. I used to be really good at that...at making sure that my friends and acquaintances felt heard...at being in the moment. Quite frankly, I'm ready to regain that skill. So,  I may scale back here an ooch in the next few weeks.

In an effort to calm the chaos of an untidy mind, I spent most of the day getting my (literal) house in order. I scrubbed floors and doorjambs and did huge amounts of laundry. It felt good. And tomorrow I'm vowing to scale back my online-ness for more IRL time with friends and hubs.

My five:

1. Waterproof jackets. I would've been a mess today without it!
2. A clean house. Aaaahhh...
3. Homemade bolognese sauce. Not bad for a first try!
4. Lazy Saturdays
5. Spring - everything's budding! Once the sun comes out we're going to be in for a HUGE wallop of blossoms!

(full confession: i'm currently watching Kung Fu Panda for the eighteenth time. The panda's name is Po, which was my nickname when I was teaching in Pittsburgh. It makes me so cheesily happy every time they say his name! That fat panda is my alter ego in many ways. not least of which is his facility with chopsticks.)