5.17.2010

perspective

(If you read this for deets on my super-cool job? You should totally skip today.  I'll have fun things to write about tomorrow. Promise. Cross my heart.)

So, Little Miss Stressball got herself a big ol' life lesson tonight. Because one of her good friends, DaisyGirl, joined this club.

The entrance dues are catastrophic. And all of my bitching and whining about my little work project being too hard, too quick, too much for my feeble brain?

Total B.S. Seriously, what the hell, Rahree???

(insert cosmic slap-upside-the-head here.)

It was my first time in a synagogue - which, after years of church musicianship, I find totally crazy - and it was an Orthodox congregation, where women and men sit separately. Everything was in Hebrew, with the exception of a short homily by the rabbi, and most everything was sung. It was a beautiful space and a lovely service. As it was my first time in a non-western(? non-Catholic/Protestant?), I felt pretty awkward at first, but a lovely lady noticed and invited me to sit with her and her extended family. How nice!

But I don't know if they even really knew DaisyGirl and her family. Because they talked - not whispered, talked, throughout the service. And ok, so they didn't know Hebrew, or they knew it and had heard the Kaddish a million times or didn't like being segregated from their spouses and were uncomfortable...whatever. I was mortified. The two things you don't do in church? Talking and rubbernecking. No. Exceptions.

It's hard to see a friend go through something that life-changing when it's not happy. Marriages, babies...there's a reason we celebrate those things. They are happy moments when you look around and think "Nothing will ever be the same." And, there's usually a good long lead-up to most of them...time to get ready. But when that thought occurs in the middle of a difficult situation, you almost never get enough prep time. Oh... I just want to wrap DaisyGirl up and let her know that things will be OK.

In a way. I'd be lying with a capital L. Not in every way, granted...but in all the important ones.

Blargh. Most days I'm happy to be an adult. But days like these? A little less so.

If you're a member of the club? I hope ours have met and are having an eternal adult beverage and telling tales about that fish that got away, the car that they were TOTALLY going to buy, and how smart their kids are...and you know that they're hanging out around the grill, now that it's summer.

And if you're not? Call yours. Because those life-changing moments happen much too quickly.

My five:
  1. Doing the right thing.
  2. Friends who act on good impulses.
  3. Reassurances.
  4. Weddings. Boy, I'm ready to watch some friends get hitched! Give me toasters and crappy djs and taffeta and Corinthians. (Those of you who are dating? I'm looking at you...)
  5. Small gestures of caring. Because really, those are the ones you remember.
In memory of Kenneth Z., and in loving tribute to his family. 

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