It's that moody place where late summer and autumn struggle with each other... today has been heavy, humid, with those torrential downpours that last for 8 minutes and then burn off into sticky air and sunshine. Somehow, the evening is feeling a bit more like fall... the breeze shakes the rain from the leaves in impromptu faux showers, the sky is grey and moody, and while I can hear a plane overhead, it's obscured from view.
I've written before about the ways in which I struggle with transitions...but I don't think that I've ever talked about how valuable I find that struggle. I feel, somehow that I have to remake myself out of whole cloth at the end of every summer. "These are the things that I like to do." "These are the things I should do/eat/love/reject." And I am guessing - maybe blindly or naïvely - that, in just questioning those statements I have the opportunity to rework myself...to fine tune the me that I hope to be in light of where and who I am.
I won't lie...things feel different. Personally, professionally, physically, spiritually...some for the better, some for the worse, and some just plain different.
But for the first time in a while, I feel like I've come into my own skin a bit more. I'm ready to stand up for myself, to say what I believe and what I need - kindly, sure, but without sugar coating.
It's going to be a wild year, for sure. And from what I can tell, I might be ready for it.
Or your death will be a happy day.
1 day ago