|Boo and his turtle looking at something interesting|
Really, I just couldn't get myself together. Sure, I started strong, working out like a fiend to try to create a Salubrious Bubble to keep any of the local influenza strains (Swine Flu! Norovirus!) that my colleagues and pals are peddling out of my body.
But soon thereafter I found myself just treading water, fighting (unsuccessfully) the urge to go to bed at 9:30pm and the Call of the Critters at 5:30am. Reading snippets of everything. Thinking in that spacey, how-do-I-do-this kind of way that is more akin to the movements of washing machines than forward motion.
First full week back at work, sure. Lots of things to start but deadlines are a few weeks away...plenty of time, right? (The procrastination gene runs strong in me...)
The real culprit? I'm trying to rewrite my NaNoWriMo story. And the editing is taking WAY more brain cells than the writing did...I think because maybe I stopped writing one story halfway through and started another. And, because I've never written anything this long, let alone tried to make sense of it after the fact? Things are messy, the plot, the characters, it's all messy...messy like take-all-the-food-out-of-the-fridge-and-cupboards-and-smash-it-on-the-kitchen-floor kind of messy. And I spend all of this time thinking about what I should do...but there are so many options that I haven't actually settled on one.
I think what will likely happen is that I'll take the first few segments, and then start writing a different story. I'm going to Frankenstein the shit out of this thing. (Is 'to Frankenstein' a verb? Can we make it one?) It's going to take some serious restructuring and chopping and - gads - character development.
But - and I'm going to make it public here - I've promised myself that I won't stop until I end up with something I'm proud of. That is (mostly) finished. That I'm not afraid to show to people.
Hold me accountable, please.
It's gonna happen.
(No bets on the timeline, though.)
In other news? I got a haircut today from a new stylist, and it turned out pretty well. (In one breath she scolded me for shampooing every day, and then suggested I go platinum for the summer. I might be in love.) I got my world rocked by this quartet and this guy, playing a piece that we commissioned. I went out with the girls on two (count 'em, TWO) weeknights this week. I bought books and this program that will likely suck all of the free time out of my free time. I'm starting to get my creative mojo back a little bit, and it feels really good. I started a writing group, and was totally floored by the beauty and the honesty of the writing and the feedback - it's my new favorite thing.
So, even though it's felt like a wash? It's been a pretty good week, looking back.
1. Text messages. I know, I know, they're killing communication yada yada yada. But I love 'em.
2. Brilliant playing. I'm humbled to be in a room with ensembles who communicate so beautifully without a single word.
3. Heated seats. The new car is da shiz.
(Wait. I don't think anyone says that anymore. It's awesome - you understand that, right?)
4. Trust. Putting my hair in a stranger's hands? Exhilarating.
5. The simple pleasure of a cat curled up on my lap.