identity crisis

What the what is going on?

It's close to 70 degrees here, outside of DC, on this winter solstice. I'm not complaining - it's my half-birthday, and I will self-centeredly take this lovely, balmy, shoulder-relaxing Saturday as a princely gift. I spent the day running errands with every window open, with crazy-lady wind-tossed hair, wrapping gifts and doing laundry between bouts of porch-sitting. Just having the house open to the breeze has felt like an amazing luxury.

We're heading back to Pennsylvania two days early this holiday season, for less-than-festive reasons. Hubby's grandfather - he of the eternally sunny disposition and bionic hips - took a spill that did him in. He was 98, a miner, a father of three wonderful guys. His positivity seemed to be a guarantee for longevity, yet it was one very small misstep that turned out to be catastrophic. I'm torn between being sad for the loss, and celebrating a life well-lived.

Two of my neighbors are dealing with rough runs of luck. Several friends have welcomed new additions to their families. There's good stuff and bad stuff, and somehow none of it is falling in a moderate ranges. (It's like election season, but with life events instead of politics...nothing skewing towards the dang middle!) I can't quite wrap my head around the ups and downs. But I'm happy to be here, surfing towards the end of the year.

I hope that, no matter what this holiday season brings to you (or out in you), you find a moment of true, giddy joy.

Love to you and yours.


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