So.

I'm dangerously close to a birthday.

Not a big round birthday...heck, it's not even a fiver-birthday. But I do find myself taking stock of things at this time of year. (The timing is unfortunate, as the best-intentioned plans I make in June usually fall to complete ruin by August, forced to play a distant second fiddle to the important and urgent in work and life.) Because the implementation has to wait for a few months, it's a good time to take stock, and to make some plans...and making plans is one of my favorite things to do.

I've realized how much I've missed writing. I've missed writing for myself (and to be honest, I think that morning pages stream-of-consciousness is wreaking havoc with both my grammar and penmanship), and I've missed writing for an audience. (Hi, mom.)

I have a new computer, as of this evening...a shiny, sparkly box of possibility. Writing, music, drawing, all of the information on the interwebs, all at my stubby fingertips.

The possibilities seem truly endless!

(...if I can gather the energy to put something worthwhile out there, there into the universe.)

And that thought is the scary thing, that I could work really diligently at something and have it still end up being just...okay.

I'm pretty sure that I could put something out there, into the universe. I'm not afraid of working hard, and I'm not afraid of constructive criticism. (I think, anyway.)

But if it's only OK? If it's slightly boring or a little cliched or simply bad? Ouffff...that's harder to swallow.

And yet, there's a really good chance that it'll be one of those things. Boring. Cliched. Just plain ol' BAD.

But I suppose I won't actually know unless I try it, right? So here's to ripping off the band-aid, jettisoning the training wheels, striking out even if it's slightly ill-advised.

Tonight's post might not be terribly promising, I know. But here's hoping that it gets better.

(Check back in a week or two to see if I'm completely missing the mark?)




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